10-1-15 Amazing

I am just in Awe at the work He is doing inside of me. I don't think we notice it as it's happening until others around us start pointing it out. My boss and I just had a conversation about my downward spiral after I left my husband. He did not have a clue and the Lord put it in my heart to come clean about it. I did not tell how far I had gone but did disclose with him about my prescription drug addiction I was battling. I was wrote up at work in June of 2015 for falling asleep on the job. I was intoxicating myself so much with norco and xanax that I began to fall asleep on my job. I was caught a few times in this manner. Then, my addiction told me that Heroin would keep me awake and it did. so I then started to do this before work, at lunch and always at home. I was on a path of destruction. I could not stop all I sought was a way out in which my mental illness combined with my addiction told me suicide was the only way. I still have a hard time dealing with learning new coping skills and how to redirect these thoughts and feelings before they become that serious. I am off to see a new counselor tonight and I hope it works well. She was a reference from the lead pastor at my church so at least I will not have a belief conflict. I also have CR tonight and that is always a spiritual uplift. Tomorrow we have a concert funded by our church's CR ministry. The band Carollton will be performing and I have been blessed to be able to help with some of the necessities and as the bible says that he has blessed us and if we can we are to "pay it forward" lol